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Monday, May 27, 2013

Tangled Web of Lies

 Credit: nikki-ns (deviantart)

I miss being a kid sometimes. All that time to free play with very little oversight and structure. As an adult there are way too many rules to follow and not enough time to do things that are truly worth while. But the main reason I want to be a kid again is to meet people that still has a sense of vulnerability and innocence in their lives. To connect with another person without ego boosting or white lies of superiority.

People, at least children have a capability to be truly honest and forthcoming about their struggles and difficulties. As adults, we tend to hide and bury things that effects us to make it seem that we are "normal" and not a person with real problems. I have meet many people that have huge egos and always are showing their good side to others. When I ask about possible problems or troubles, most just deflect my queries or just out right deny they exist. Image is so important that any hint of shame or fear would be devastating to people that might judge them.

As a child, image and looking cool is much less important and isn't such a dominating factor. It allows for kids to be friends with other kids at a much simplified level. Haven't you ever thought why you were able to make friends a lot easier in school than you do now? It is that ability for children to be vulnerable and unassuming that allows the freedom to connect with another person.

I have trouble connecting with others these days. I have several theories on why this is. Maybe I have a condescending tone, rife with a heavy dose of pragmatism and moral judgements. Or it could be my difference in what I do on my off time, such as singing and writing, causing me to have difficulties in finding similar people of my mindset. And maybe I just smell weird. All these reasons and more has made me look at both internal and external factors that might exist and maybe I can reason with it.

I think that it boils down to a society in which there is no room for error in our social lives. One mistake feels like it is worse than death itself. People fear what others think of them and they live their lives in a sort of isolation, never wanting to let their guard down. Maybe there is a strong sense of protecting their image because they feel like they are imposters who just had a bit of luck, who are fearful of the tumbling house of cards if they are found out.

Whatever the reason it, there is a problem that I see with people not being open and honest with each other. It makes it really hard for people to truly connect with one another in times of need. I wish that everyone can let go of their fears and doubts and let others in with open arms instead of skepticism and caution. A world with vulnerability and innocence might be better for us all. Or maybe I just need to smell better.

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